Distant Longing
by xtrek
Summary: Lavi is left behind at Headquarters. Why is it so difficult to admit that he misses Kanda? Kanda/Lavi. Please read the warnings inside.


**Title:** Distant Longing  
**Author:** xtrek  
**Pairing:** Kanda/Lavi  
**Rating:** M, NC-17  
**Word Count:** 3.600  
**Warnings:** PWP, contains: smut, masturbation, toy use, kinky Kanda  
**Summary:** Lavi is left behind at Headquarters.  
**Disclaimer:** D.Gray-man belongs to Hoshino Katsura and the associated companies.

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**A/N:** This was quite a persistent plotbunny that demanded me to write porn. Since it's actually my first time writing anything like this I'd be thankful for comments, critique and nit-picks.  
I think I did a thorough self-beta job but after little sleep this night I might have missed something.  
Thanks go out to mysticerzengel who listened patiently to my angsting about this oneshot.

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Distant Longing

„--avi…"

Lavi was dead tired. Komui had sent Allen, Linali and Kanda on a mission far away from Headquarters to get rid of a bunch of Level-2-Akuma, while he had been ordered to stay on standby until further orders were issued. The old panda had gladly taken the opportunity to make him slave away in the Order's well-assorted library under the pretense that he needed to work on his records.

"Lavi…"

Sure, his records were not perfect but he still detested having to stay at HQ while Yuu and the others got all the fun. Kanda had seemed pretty eager to slaughter some Akuma when he had bid them goodbye…

He quickly shook his head to prevent his thoughts from going down that dangerous path.

"LAVI!"

Lavi's overworked brain easily analyzed the tone of voice and identified the speaker. It decoded the word to actually mean: _Get your ass here this instant. I'll kill you, right now! _

"**LAVI**," the echo roared through the hallways.

_That sounded vaguely like Yuu, _he mused tiredly. _Nah, can't be. Komui mentioned that they still needed a week to finish the mission. Must be my tired brain playing tricks on me. Another week cooped up in here without a mission in sight and I'll go crazy. Another week without -_

Right in this moment the massive doors to the library were pushed open by a certain hot tempered exorcist. The walls shook with the force of the doors' impact. Kanda stormed in like a blur of black and white, his long hair not in its customary braid and his hair in total disarray.

"L-A-V-I," Kanda was a little out of breath but his eyes were blazing with fury, "you were in my room."

Lavi instantly paled. _U-oh… this can't be good._

It suddenly seemed like the room's temperature had dropped a few degrees.

The other users of the library - three absolutely frightened finders - had huddled together behind a desk and were anxiously waiting for a chance to escape. Nobody in their right mind would want to witness one of Kanda's more spectacular fights with the future bookman.

Lavi had frozen in his position on the ladder. He had been about to get some books he needed for research and was now in a vulnerable position about two meters above the ground.

Kanda was advancing with purposeful steps, brandishing Mugen that gleamed in the library's light.

Lavi had nowhere to go.

Kanda reached the foot of the ladder and was now looking up at him with bloody murder screaming from the expression on his face.

Lavi frenetically thought for something - anything - he could say in his defense.

The only thing he could come up with was: _I was just making sure your lotus didn't need to be watered. _

Knowing that this statement would only get him killed faster, he decided to go with the truth or at least the safe version of the truth. He smiled ruefully and bent down to the seething Kanda.

"I'm sorry, Yu-- eh Kanda. I couldn't sleep." _Without you here._

That seemed to make Kanda actually pause for a moment. Lavi had spent more than a few nights in his room before, to be true.

"Come. Down. Here," Kanda squeezed through his still gritted teeth, "Now."

Lavi prayed to any gods that might be willing to listen, that this wouldn't end in his early demise.

Reluctantly he began to climb down.

The finders chose that moment to make their escape and inched towards the open doors. As soon as they had left the room, one of them turned back to hurriedly pull the heavy doors closed behind them, praying that those crazy exorcists wouldn't wreck too many of the books.

Kanda had moved back a little - enough to let Lavi step down from the ladder - and had watched the finders' retreat.

He pointed Mugen at Lavi's chest and said: "I might - just maybe - think about killing you right now if you explained why you were in room. Why you obviously used my bed," the red hairs he had found on his pillow had been telling, "and why you left stuff on my nightstand." Kanda stumbled a little over the word 'stuff' and made a vague gesture with his hand.

_I'm so doomed right now. How could I forget to take THAT back with me… _He had left Kanda's quarters in a hurry this morning, not even taking the time to make the bed, because he had been late to meet Bookman. He had only gotten two hours of sleep, not nearly enough to make a difference for the nights he had had to spend in the library.

Blood rushed to Lavi's face making him blush brilliantly as he thought about the previous night. He couldn't possibly tell Kanda what exactly had taken place in his room at that time. That would mean facing the emotions that had held his heart in a strong grip for some time now. It was more than embarrassing.

"You're blushing," Kanda commented darkly. He already had a pretty good idea what Lavi had done. He moved Mugen to let its tip point directly at Lavi's nervously bobbing Adam's apple.

He kept telling himself that he was angry at the redhead's perverseness but in truth that wasn't the only reason for his anger. While the mission and the fight with the 2nd-levels had been exhilarating, it had been a little strange to fight without the usual rivalry that he shared with Lavi. He had not even needed to keep count on how many Akuma he slayed.

Maybe he had even missed the bumbling redhead a little.

"Tell me," Kanda prodded.

Lavi sighed and tried not to concentrate on the sharp blade pointed at his throat.

"Ok, I will tell you. Although you must have figured it out already. The lube and the dildo should have told you," Lavi forced himself to say. Maybe he could play it down to his libido going bonkers.

As usual Kanda was a little overwhelmed by Lavi's bluntness but he would not be shaken off this easily. He had noticed long ago that Lavi tried to evade every talk that would focus on something personal.

Perhaps he was more hopeful to find a deeper meaning behind Lavi's actions than he had even admitted to himself. He actually wanted to know what Lavi had been doing in his bed. And for some crazy reason he could not quite understand yet, he also needed to know why Lavi had done it. Masturbating in his bed when he had been away. The very same bed that they had shared more times than he would have liked at first. There had to be a reason why Lavi chose to come back to his room where they had roughhoused and where they had had awkward sex for the first time.

"I can imagine. But I would like to hear it from you," Kanda said mercilessly with Mugen not wavering an inch.

"Yuuuu," Lavi thought that pleading with Kanda might still save him.

Kanda did not even deign that with an answer. He just shifted Mugen to press into the soft flesh of Lavi's throat.

Lavi swallowed dryly. He was actually becoming a little annoyed with Kanda's unrelenting behavior. But he could not escape with Mugen still pinning him in place. It looked like Kanda wanted to be stubborn about the whole affair. And Lavi knew just as well that there was no way he could outlast Kanda's stubbornness when he seemed that fixated on something.

Resignedly he fixed his eye on Kanda and said in a small voice: "Don't laugh, Yuu. I think, I just missed you too much. It was hard to stay behind and simply wait for you to return," ambivalent emotions were playing on Lavi's face, "Does that answer your questions?"

Instead of an answer Kanda slid Mugen back into its sheath and leaned in towards Lavi.

"Still want the details, Yuu?" Lavi asked with a lopsided smile. His nerves were pretty much frayed after all of this.

"Maybe later, baka," Kanda replied gruffly and closed the rest of the distance between them to kiss Lavi.

Finally Lavi felt some of the tension leave him that had been with him for the whole time since Kanda had left. He had never really noticed how wound up he had become.

Hungrily he kissed back for once not really caring to mask his need.

Kanda was surprised by the urgency behind Lavi's kiss but took it in stride. This was different from the adrenaline high after a fight that had been a close call; this was more of a confession.

The simple kiss soon became an open-mouthed manifestation of need.

Lavi pressed Kanda against the bookshelf behind him and plundered the willing swordsman's mouth with his tongue.

The more heated their tongue-play became, the closer their bodies pressed against each other. The passing onlooker might have thought that they were taking the phrase 'to eat each other up' a little too literally.

Stray hands started roaming and skin was flushing under the mounting stimulation.

Arousal could be tasted in the air between them.

Lavi's hands found their way into Kanda's long hair. He clutched at its thick strands.

"You're not wearing it braided today?" Lavi asked breathlessly while his hands continued to muss the fine, deep black hair.

"I was," Kanda answered with a nip at Lavi's lip, "but I wanted to take a bath when I came back. You ruined that though with the mess you left my room in."

"I'm sorry for that?" the redhead offered in return.

"Che, I don't believe you."

Lavi had to grin a little as he slipped one of his hands under Kanda's loosened shirt. His clever hand found Kanda's nipple and squeezed it gently between his middle finger and thumb. That got Kanda's attention.

Lavi 's grin widened. "I could make it up to you, I guess."

Interest flashed in Kanda's dark eyes when he noticed Lavi's other hand slowly inching toward his crotch.

"Hmm, I want to see you try," Kanda accepted huskily.

Lavi brushed his hand over Kanda's other nipple in goodbye and knelt down in front of Kanda with both hands starting to work on Kanda's belt.

Anticipation was cursing through Kanda's veins. It beat the familiar rush that came with a battle.

Kanda threaded his hands through Lavi's hair and made to remove his headband.

Lavi looked up at him with approval and busied himself with the fasteners of Kanda's pants.

Kanda hesitated a little to remove the eye patch as well, but then thought nothing of it and pulled it off together with the headband.

Lavi's hands stopped their work for a short moment before they continued.

"Greedy," he commented wryly.

Kanda's mouth twitched upward a little and he watched Lavi's green eyes fix themselves on the obvious bulge that was tenting his underwear. By now Lavi had finished and pulled Kanda's pants down to pool at his feet.

He leaned closer to rub his nose against the fabric of Kanda's shorts. Kanda gasped softly.

"It's good that you're back," he mouthed against the enclosed hardness.

Kanda was a little perplexed but it actually felt good for him, too. And it was not only because they were doing this now.

Then Lavi captured Kanda's eyes with his own as if to make sure that he was paying attention and started mouthing and licking at Kanda's still covered erection.

A shudder crawled along Kanda's spine and his length gave an appreciative throb.

"Ugh…," was all that Kanda could say.

"Mhm," answered Lavi and started pulling down Kanda's underwear without ever really stopping what he had started.

When he had uncovered his prize he gave it a quick stroke with his hand and a teasing lick from the base all the way to the tip.

Kanda looked more flushed now and was definitely sweating a bit.

Lavi hummed again and began to pay some extra attention to Kanda's balls while keeping up slow strokes with his hand.

It had not been this easy in the beginning of their more intimate relationship but after a few more fumbling and awkward attempts at oral sex, they had found out what the other liked more or less.

Kanda's arousal was building up steadily and milky fluid was making Lavi's strokes easier.

When Lavi had enough of playing around, he proceeded to give Kanda the blowjob he had been expecting. His lips and tongue caressed Kanda. In between he added the rasp of his teeth which made Kanda moan finally.

Now more than a little smug, Lavi quickened the pace, feeling Kanda's hands tightening in his hair.

He knew Kanda had to be close, so he gazed up at him from under his bangs while he continued.

Kanda felt his climax approaching when he found Lavi staring at him with both of his eyes.

Lavi hummed and massaged the stretch of skin right behind Kanda's balls.

The added stimulation tipped Kanda over the edge and Lavi could feel warm liquid entering his mouth.

He kept sucking for a while to let Kanda ride out the pleasure before he pulled away and let the rest of Kanda's release that he hadn't swallowed dribble onto the floor.

"It still tastes pretty gross," he managed after a moment.

Kanda only grunted in post-orgasmic bliss and leaned heavily on the bookshelf.

Lavi pushed himself up and leaned against the shelf right next to Kanda.

"What are we going to do about this?" he gestured at his own bulging pants.

Kanda's breathing evened out a little and he answered: "I'm not doing anything about it. At least not now," Lavi's brows furrowed at that and he looked discontent, "Why don't you show me what you did when I was on the mission?"

Lavi's eyes were bulging at the suggestion.

"You can't be serious."

"I think, I am," Kanda bent down to pull up his pants and underwear, fixing his state of clothing. "I also brought your toy." He reached into his pant pocket and retrieved a tube of lube and a short dildo.

Lavi couldn't believe what he was seeing.

And Kanda called him a pervert. Somehow this idea was slowly growing on him.

"My pervyness must be rubbing off on you," Lavi said with amazement.

Kanda simply shrugged and grabbed Lavi's arm to pull him in the direction of the library's working area. He only stopped when they had reached one of the big, old desks.

"Make yourself comfortable," Kanda instructed with a small gesture towards the desk.

"Right here? Where everyone will be able to see when they enter the library? Very kinky, Yuu."

"I doubt anyone will come here, we've been here for some time now and no one has shown up," Kanda informed him in a matter of fact tone.

Although that didn't make much sense, Lavi couldn't ignore his arousal any longer. He started to unbutton his shirt. "You're making me do all the work, aren't you?"

Kanda just shrugged and waited for Lavi to proceed.

Lavi sighed and grinned a little. So Kanda was interested in watching him masturbate. _I might as well give him a show._

Lavi quickly divested himself of his clothes until he stood stark naked in front of Kanda - this was not the time for a slow strip under watchful eyes. He let his hands roam freely over his body and watched Kanda for a reaction.

Kanda looked a bit distracted by the flushed cock he was presented with, though.

"Now you might want to make yourself comfortable, Yuu. Sit down and enjoy the show," Lavi suggested with a leer.

He placed a chair in a front row position and made Kanda sit down on it. Then he took the toy and lube from Kanda's unresisting hands and got up on the desk.

It was still a little embarrassing to lie down on the smooth surface of the desk, where he had spent many hours slaving away over paperwork. Kanda was watching his every move, although he was visibly trying to appear unaffected. But Lavi had already gotten a look behind Kanda's stony façade and knew that Kanda was a sensual being just like himself.

That thought made him bold enough to get himself in a comfortable position on his back with his legs propped up and slightly spread apart.

He didn't know where to start and how to go about this, so he settled for creating the mood for himself first. The rest would come naturally, he hoped. Trying to forget for a moment that Kanda was intently watching, he started with brushing his hands over his flanks in a slow up and down motion before he let his hands travel over his stomach and settling on his sensitized nipples. He palmed them until they were hard and his level of arousal had finally stabilized a little more.

Stroking over his taut stomach, he slipped his hands under his body and cupped his butt cheeks, firmly ignoring the growing need to do something about his hardened cock. He spread his legs a bit more and used the finger of one hand to draw a small circle over his anus. The muscle twitched a little and Lavi let out the breath he had been holding.

Quickly he grabbed the tube of lube, uncapped it and slicked his finger before letting it paint a clear trail over and around the twitching muscle. His finger carefully breached the first ring of muscle and slid into the warm, silky grip of his body's confines.

This time it was Kanda who exhaled explosively and seemed to have trouble staying seated.

Lavi added more lube and another finger and set a slow rhythm of pushing them in and out of his body. With every thrust he went slightly deeper and went past the second set of muscle to stretch out the tight passage.

His breathing got more irregular and the blood was rushing in his ears.

He used his other hand to take a hold of his erection and just kept it enclosed the warm grip of his fist.

He couldn't wait much longer.

The feeling of being stretched made him ache for more and he still wanted to use the toy.

With a small, regretful moan he let go of his cock and fumbled around for the dildo.

He had bought it on a mission once and it had been a good companion to more than a few lonely nights over the time. It was actually pretty short and sturdy. Made out of dark lacquered wood and resembled a plug only with more of a handle.

He lubed it up and brought it down to nudge his entrance.

A quick glance to Kanda showed him on the seat's edge and leaning forward.

Lavi closed his eyes for a moment and slowly pushed the dildo inside.

He could clearly remember the night before, where he had not been able to keep it together under the strain of work and missing Kanda. But Kanda was back now.

"Yuu," he breathed as the toy slid deeper into him.

Kanda clearly couldn't take any more. What more of an invitation did he need?

In lightning speed he got rid of his clothes and shoes and was pushing himself up on the desk, while Lavi was moving the dildo in small thrusts.

Kanda settled on his knees between Lavi's spread legs and placed his trembling hands on Lavi's knees.

Lavi opened his eyes and the longing shining in the green depth even got through to Kanda in his passionate haze.

Kanda swallowed nervously and reached down to stop Lavi's hand with his own.

"Is it ok to…," he trailed off and looked intently at Lavi.

"I've been waiting for you," Lavi whispered.

He removed the toy and let it carelessly clatter to the floor. He took hold of Kanda's straining erection instead and pumped it encouragingly.

Kanda almost howled at that and thrust sharply up in Lavi's hand.

Lavi groaned in response and guided Kanda's cock to his opening, Kanda following the lead willingly. After a little excited fumbling to decide who would do what, Kanda pressed into Lavi's silky heat and quickly sheathed himself completely.

"La-vi," Kanda rasped, "I don't think I can last long."

"Doesn't matter," came the mumbled reply that spurred Kanda to start moving.

It really didn't take long and both of them found themselves panting and on the edge.

Lavi hooked his legs behind Kanda's back and pulled him down towards himself to fully bathe in the feeling of having Kanda inside of him again.

There was no stopping his orgasm now and he was clenching hard on Kanda's length when he came without having his cock touched even once.

Kanda's gaze grew distant the moment he felt Lavi's insides squeezing him and he gave in to the flow of his climax that let milky fluid spill into the deliciously writhing body beneath him.

Soon after Kanda felt like his body had suddenly become too heavy for his arms to hold him up and he collapsed on Lavi's chest.

Lavi simply gave him a lazy smile and tangled a hand in his hair.

They were basking in the afterglow, still connected, when Kanda admitted softly in a sated tone: "That was good. Maybe I should borrow that thing from you when you're away if it leads to something like this."

"You can borrow it anytime but don't get yourself caught by Bookman if you want to defile my bed, too."

That caused both of them to laugh heartily and hope that they would be on the next mission together instead.

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THE END

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End file.
